


(tell me) this is not the end

by firstpynch



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, F/M, Gen, Mostly Canon Compliant, Parent Tony Stark, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Steve/Tony if you squint really really really hard, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark comes back, and pulled a reverse uno card to literally come back from the dead, basically tony found out mystery hurt Peter, cos no one hurts his kid, fuck the russos I said irondad rights, its microscopic but its there, like really hard, to kick mysterio's ass, up until ffh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-27 01:50:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21110735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firstpynch/pseuds/firstpynch
Summary: Tony Stark knows he died.Which is why he is currently very confused, because he is standing in front of the Avengers Compound, and he is very much alive.~or, death can't stop Tony Stark from going back to his son and he needs him the most.





	(tell me) this is not the end

**Author's Note:**

> I know posting a new WIP whilst you have like 3 other WIPs is bad form, but this idea was in my head and I couldn't stop. 
> 
> I promise Avengers Fam Dinner will be updated soon, but in the meantime take this as an apology? 
> 
> as usual un-betad and not proof-read. I literally wrote the second half on my phone at work.

Tony knows he is dead.

The fact is a bit hard to miss, really, considering the way in which Tony died. Tony Stark was no stranger to pain, physical or emotional. He had survived the pain of staying conscious during open heart surgery, the weight of a battery embedding deep into his chest. He remembers the sensation of having his head forcefully shoved underwater, the feeling of his lungs closing around him and each breath leaving his body without being replaced. He remembers a part of his brain, the part not screaming _ITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTS _telling him he can’t move around, he can’t thrash because he needs to protect his heart, the thing keeping him alive. It was ironic, he remembered musing, that the only heart Tony Stark has ever had turned out to be artificial in the end. And if that pain wasn’t enough, he remembers bearing countless others. He remembers the cold seeping into his bones in Siberia, where it had felt like each drop of blood in his body had frozen solid. He remembers thinking that pain in inconsequential compared to the soreness he feels in his heart, the shattered pieces digging into his chest with every painful, undeserved breath. More than that though, he remembers he had felt five years ago, a pain so great that he did not think he could ever breathe again. He remembers curling up against the metal wall of the _Milano_, his chest heaving with sobs that wrecked through his entire body, each breath threatening to suck the life out of him. He remembers clutching desperately at the air, still trying to catch onto the bits of ash that had long since drifted away through the never-ending void of space.

So really, compared to the pain he has faced in his miserable existence, the pain he had felt in his last moment seemed to be nothing in comparison. The cosmic energy from the stones were spreading fast through his body, mingling with his blood in an unbreakable bond he knows he could never break. It burnt his flesh, the smell filling his nostrils in a way that almost made him gag.

He remembers Peter crying over his lifeless body, his salty tears stinging where they dropped on Tony’s burnt flesh. He remembers Rhodey dragging Peter away as he involuntarily called out for his kid. He’s thankful Rhodey knew what to do, knew that he would never want to Peter to watch his last moments like this, and yet watching Peter go away from him filled him with a dread. It was funny, but that that was the moment Tony realised he gained Peter only to lose him again. He couldn’t find himself to regret it, though. Tony would gladly cover his world with darkness just so that Peter can see the light.

He remembers Pepper’s acceptance, her unwavering support as she finally told him it’s okay to let go. He remembers thinking he got so damn lucky getting a wife like her – a wife that accepted him, broken and all. A wife that knew a part of him would never belong to her, and yet stayed with him anyway. Through thick and thin, through joy and sadness.

Finally, finally, he remembers meeting _his _eye, glistening with unshed tears. Tony Stark became versed in reading Steve Rogers long ago, knew what every stance of his body meant. He willed Steve to break the boundaries he was being so wary of, of coming to him and holding him so that he could finally let go. He tried giving a miniscule smile, directed straight at Steve, tell him that it would be okay. This world that they had just created, it would be a better world, a more ideal world – one that Tony Stark doesn’t need to be a part of, but Steve Rogers does.

He remembers drifting off with a million thoughts running through his head: the softness of Peter’s curls, the way the sunlight hit Pepper’s golden locks just right, the weight of Morgan falling asleep on his lap. He drifted off with the thought of Rhodey’s hugs, the way he always smelt of lemon and grass, of Natasha’s glare and Bruce’s wild eyes after a sleepless night in the lab, and Thor’s bellowing laughter. He thought of dinners with Peter and May, of looking into Pepper’s eyes as he took this incredible woman to be his wife, of feeding Gerald the Alpaca with Morgan, of movie nights with the team back when they were still a family, complete and whole. He thought of _him_, of his kind, azure eyes and his smile and his unwavering faith, and when Tony finally closed his eyes and let himself slip into oblivion, he did not feel pain.

He saw the darkness, and he welcomed it.

Which is why he is so confused now.

Tony wasn’t conscious in the afterlife, per say. He remembers foggy details, as if he was drunk through the whole experience. He thinks he saw Yinsen at some point, who put a comforting hand on his shoulder, reminiscent of what Thor has done numerous times. _“Did I waste it?”_ he thinks he asked. Yinsen smiled at him then, and he looked different, no longer malnourished or held prisoner in a cave with no chance of escape. _“No, Stark,” _he said. _“No, you didn’t.”_

He thinks he saw Nat too – Nat, who hugged him and cried into his shoulder. “Agent Romanoff, did you miss me?” he thinks he said, and Nat smacked his shoulder. “You слабоумный” she said. “You absolute idiot! You were supposed to survive this, Tony!”

“So were you,” he said, and Nat looked at him without any masks, a tear slipping down her cheek.

Tony is pretty damn sure all that happened, but it can’t be. All that could only happen if he was dead, and yet he stands in front of what looks to be a brand-new Avengers Compound (brand-new, because the last time he saw this place it was rubble), and he is very much alive. 

The Compound looked almost identical to the place he had designed and built almost ten years ago now; a place he had built for a family he had cherished above everything else. And yet, he noticed the subtle differences almost immediately. There were no longer any flowers placed by the window of the first floor in which Nat had resided – flowers that he was sure to replenish even in the years the Rogue Avengers had gone away. The Compound was no longer bustling with activity, not in the way it used to prior to the Decimation. Tony knew almost immediately that he would walk in to find it unbearably empty.

Tony Stark is a genius, and he knows that he is not supposed to be here. Which begs the question – why is a dead man currently standing here, alive?

There is a weight in his pocket, and he fishes his hands deep inside to bring out the StarkPhone 11, one of the newer models they were ready to release just days before the Time Heist. He dials the first number he can think of.

“Hap?” he says, and the sharp intake of breath on the other end of the call echoes through the empty ground of the Avengers Compound.

“I don’t know what I’m doing here, but I think something is wrong.”

* * *

In his younger years, the short space of time in which he had actually attended school, Tony Stark had seldom gone to parent-teacher conferences. For one, Howard and Maria Stark had better things to do than to go find out about their son’s progress – progress that they were barely ever happy with in the first place. Jarvis would go sometimes, but there wasn’t much point to it anyway, not when the student to be scrutinised knew more than the entire teacher body combined anyway. In those few years when he had gotten to know Peter, had been graciously allowed to step into the role of what felt oddly like a parent in the kid’s life, Tony had attended a parent-teacher conference or two. He had beamed with pride with every glowing comment the kid had received, allowing himself to feel that he had a right to do so.

Now, sitting opposite May, Happy, Rhodey and Pepper, who were all watching him with a curious, disbelieving gaze, he had the odd feeling that he was a kid being scrutinised by his teachers again.

“Let me get this straight,” May said, who seemed to be the only one out of the group who was being active instead of staring at him as if they were seeing a ghost (which they were). “you randomly woke up in the middle of the Avengers Compound, in the exact place where you –“ May pauses for a second, looking for the first time since this whole debacle started sad and uncomfortable. “Died,” Tony supplied unhelpfully, immediately withering in the painful identical gazes they all sent his way. “You woke up,” May continues, “with the impression that you’re not supposed to be here but there is something you have to do?”

“Sounds about right,” Tony says, shrugging.

“Tony, you realise how ridiculous this sounds, right?” May says, a hint of sympathy laced in her voice. “We all want more than anything for this to be true and you to be back, but that sounds like something out of an Arthurian fairytale. _Tony Stark will rise again in the time of the universe’s greatest need?” _

“I think you’ve been watching too much BBC Merlin,” Tony says. “Is Peter still binging that show?”

“Peter doesn’t do a lot of things, these days,” May says, not unkindly. “One of them is binging TV shows he has associated with you.

The mood in the room grows ten times more sombre than it was previously, the first time the last 6 months of Tony’s absence being mentioned since his apparent resurrection.

“Where is he?” Tony asks softly. “And Morgan? Where is Peter and Morgan?”

“Hope and Scott are babysitting Morgan,” Pepper says, speaking for the first time since she had crushed Tony to her chest and sobbed into his shoulder. “They don’t know exactly what happened, but they do know there is a situation.”

“And Peter is on a school trip with his friend,” Happy says. “He’s in Europe. Should be in Paris right now if they’re staying on schedule.” The thought of Peter in Europe, being a normal teenager and enjoying the life Tony fought tooth and nail for makes him smile, and yet he if filled with a deep longing that he had grown accustomed to in the last five years. When Tony had died on that battlefield, he had resigned all hopes of every fulfilling his deepest wishes. He had wanted to live – for the first time in his life he had wanted to live. He wanted to see Peter and Morgan grow up, go to Peter’s graduation and accompany Morgan on her first day of school. He wanted to take Peter to college fairs and take Morgan out to ice cream. He wanted to see his kids together, both of them loving each other as fiercely as he knew they would. He never got to see it, and he doesn’t know how long this second chance will last.

“We didn’t want to tell them anything until we know what this is,” Pepper says, her normally composed voice betraying her inner turmoil. Pepper knows him, better than he knows himself, and Pepper knows what he wants in his heart. But Pepper is also smart, clever, always thinking ten steps ahead. She is right, of course. The very fact that he doesn’t know how long this second chance will last is the reason the kids must not know.

“I know, Pep,” he says softly. “Thank you.”

They all look at each other again, and Tony finds it almost laughable that these are all the same people who know each other better than anyone. The people in this room have seen him at his worst, and his best. Has seen him when he is broken with despair, seen him when he is at the highest point of life. And yet, these are the same people who no longer know how to look him in the eye. He knows it isn’t anything personal. Six months is a long time to grieve, and he knows him being here will take them right back to when the wounds were still fresh.

“Why are you here, Tones,” Rhodes says. Always straight to the point, was his Rhodey. “I don’t know honey-bear,” Tony says, sighing deeply. “I thought maybe Peter, or Morgan? But they sound like they’re well. Any chances the universe is about to be threatened by inter-galactic purple aliens again?”

Everyone winces, and he mentally catalogues their reactions. _Too soon for Thanos jokes. _

“Thor, the Guardians and Carol have all been monitoring the universe. There doesn’t seem to be any threats we need to be aware of.”

“What about Cap?” Tony asks softly. Steve’s absence is notable, because Steve is always there, always ready to respond to a call of crisis. Tony died to end the battle, but the thought of what might have happened after it is scary all the same.

“Steve…” Rhodey starts, and he takes a deep breath, as if trying to decide how to phrase his next words properly. “Steve took the stones back. Except, after he finished the mission he didn’t come back.”

Tony braces himself for the next words – _Steve is gone, Steve is dead, you couldn’t save him in the end anyway._

“Steve decided to stay back in the past. Got married, grew old. Came back almost 50 years older than he was when he left. He stays at an old age home now, under the name Grant Stevens.”

Tony found himself smiling. “Good.”

Suddenly, Happy’s phone starts ringing, the sudden noise sounding almost defeaning to Tony’s ears.

“Hey, kiddo,” he says, holding the phone to his ear.

_Peter. _

Tony aches to hear his voice.

Peter speaks for a while, and the expressions on Happy’s face agitates Tony.

“Kid, kid, slow down. Tell me what’s wrong?”

Tony doesn’t know when he got up to stand next to Happy, but he finds himself pressing himself to Happy’s side, straining to hear what Peter’s saying.

Happy stands up in alarm. “Peter, stay there. I’m leaving right now, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“What’s wrong?” Tony asks, his voice betraying the panic he is feeling. “Where is he? Is he okay? Happy, what _happened_?”

“I don’t know, Boss,” Happy says. “But it’s bad. He just keeps saying he screwed up, and everyone is in danger. He keeps crying. He’s in the Netherlands, somewhere. I’m going over right now.”

“I’m coming too,” Tony says, and Pepper clutches his arm almost immediately.

“Tony, we still don’t know what’s going on. Why you’re here? How long for? You can’t just go to the Netherlands!”

“Pep,” he says, cradling her face in his hands. “I know I was brought back for a reason. I think this is it. Peter needs me, Pepper. I can feel it. I need to go to him.”

“We can’t lose you again,” Pepper says, her voice breaking.

“And we can’t lose him either. Not now, not after getting him back. I have to go.”

He doesn’t wait for a response, doesn’t even turn around to see what anyone is thinking.

“Bring our kid back, Tony,” he can hear May say behind him, and the smile that comes out of him is involuntary.

He is going to save his kid.

* * *

The coordinates Peter gave leads them to a tulip field in the middle-of-nowhere Netherlands. Tony doesn’t even wait for the StarkJet to completely land before he is flying out of his seat, leaping down the stairs of the jet and standing in front of Peter.

The couple of hours it took for them to get to the Netherlands were pure agony for Tony. Worse than the lead up to the Time Heist, worse than waiting for death to finally take him in the middle of a destroyed battlefield. He doesn’t know what state Peter is, doesn’t know what he would do when he sees him again.

And now, here he is. Peter- bloody and bruised, as if he went a few rounds with a car and won.

_“Peter.” _Tony says, and the word comes out of his mouth like a prayer.

“Tony?” Peter says, his face white as a sheet.

“Pete,” Tony says, willing his limbs to move and reduce the distance between himself and the other piece of his heart.

“No!” Peter sounds. “No, don’t come near me! You can’t use his face to fool me again! Please, not him. Use anyone but him!” Peter’s cheeks are wet, the tears flowing freely and unconsolably.

_Who hurt you, Pete? _Tony thinks.

“Peter,” Tony says softly, holding his arms up in surrender as he slowly inches forward. “It’s me, kiddo. I promise, it’s me. Remember that day you had a tough patrol? That puppy got run over before you could dive in and rescue him? And we watched Brooklyn-99 afterwards, because that is your feel good show and I love it too, no matter how much I pretend I don’t. You fell asleep on my lap that night, and I picked you up and carried you to your room.”

Tony had inched closer and closer to Peter as he spoke, until he was standing right in front of him. Peter’ brown eyes were wide and glassy, the tears mingling with the dried blood on his face. Tony slowly brought his hand up, letting it hover in front of Peter’s face for few moments, allowing him to refuse if he wished. When Peter said nothing, Tony gently cupped his face with his hands, tenderly wiping off the blood on his cheek. Peter leaned into the touch, closing his eyes with a shuddering breath.

“Do you remember what you said to me that night, Pete?” Tony asked softly, still delicately caressing Peter’s face. “You said, ‘thanks Dad,’ and Pete, it was the best damn thing I had ever heard.”

“You heard that?” Peter asked softly.

“Yeah,” Tony says, nodding through his tears. “Yeah I did.”

“Tony?” Peter said again, the word coming out with a sob. _“Dad?”_ he cried, his voice breaking in a way that Tony could handle no longer. He dived forward at the same time Peter did, the two geniuses engulfing each other in a bone-crushing hug. He could feel Peter wince, and he almost pulled away in fear of aggravating Peter’s injuries. Peter was having none of it, though, pulling Tony even closer until their bodies could barely be told apart. Peter’s head still fitted into his shoulder just like it always did, and Peter buried his face in the crook of Tony’s head and let his body wreck with sobs.

“It’s okay,” Tony said soothingly, running his hands through Peter’s soft curls, soft even with the dried blood currently matting his hair together. “I’m here, kiddo. I’m sorry I wasn’t, that you had to go through all this alone.”

“I… missed you…. So much. _So much_.”

Tony cradled Peter’s head close. He hadn’t noticed that they had both collapsed on the gravel path of the field, Peter almost on his lap. He cradled Peter close, rocking him back and forth the way he did with Morgan after a nightmare.

“I missed you too, buddy,” Tony whispered into his hair, “so much.”

Peter lifted his head off Tony’s shoulder, looking at him with his red-rimmed eyes. The wound on his head seemed to have opened up again, red blood dripping down his forehead and onto his cheek.

Tony stands up, lifting Peter up with him. “Come on, kiddo,” he says, still holding onto Peter’s wrist, “let’s get you cleaned up.”

* * *

Afterwards, when Tony had cleaned and stitched Peter’s wounds and Peter had laid his head down on Tony’s lap, curling in on himself, Tony allowed himself to ask the question that had been on the tip of his tongue since he saw Peter again.

“Pete?” he said quietly, his fingers playing with Peter’s hair in a way he knew the kid found soothing. “You wanna tell me what happened?”

Peter heaved himself off Tony’s lap, sitting up and looking at him with trembling lips. “I failed you,” Peter whispered brokenly. “You trusted me with E.D.I.T.H and I gave it away.”

“Gave it away?” Tony asked, prodding Peter for further information. “I didn’t think I could do it. It was so much responsibility, and you know how much I’ve messed up. Your note said: _For the next Tony Stark, I trust you. _I thought it meant you trusted me to pick the next Iron Man, to pass E.D.I.T.H to someone actually worthy of the responsibility. So I gave it to Beck. He was nice and caring and he put the glasses on and he –“ Peter broke off again, his sobs once again becoming violent. “He what, Pete?” Tony asked, softly rubbing circles on Peter’s back.

“He looked just like you,” Peter whispered. “I thought I could trust him. But I was wrong, and I gave away the only thing you left for me, the thing you trusted me with. I failed you. I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, Pete,” Tony said, cupping Peter’s face and pressing a soft kiss on Peter’s forehead. “Kiddo, you could never disappoint me. You’re right, E.D.I.T.H is too much responsibility to give to a kid. You weren’t meant to get it now. I left specific instructions that you’re not to be given it until you’re 18, and only if you’re ready. I don’t know why Pepper would-“

“Pepper didn’t give it to me,” Peter interrupted. “Fury did.”

“But I hadn’t even told Fury about it?” Tony said, his shocked expression mirrored on Peter’s face. “You know what, kiddo, it’s fine. I’ll figure that out later. Right now, we have another problem to focus on. So, you tell me, Spiderman. Your friends are in trouble. What do you do?”

Peter’s gaze hardened, and he pushed his shoulders back with determination. “I go kick some ass.”

Tony beamed, and Peter preened under the warmth of it.

**Author's Note:**

> it wasn't supposed to be multi-chap but ending it on that note seemed more natural. I promise the second part will be soon!


End file.
